Monday, May 20, 2013

For Don

I took your photo off of my phone’s screensaver today.  I don’t need it anymore there, and I don’t wish it to become a sort of talisman that shouts “I knew someone who died.”  I think I realized that two months ago.  And I decided to write this on an anniversary of part of the time you were still here, rather than on the anniversary of the day you left.  My tribute is for your life.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I am not angry anymore.  I’ve always known what I had to appreciate, and I’m at a place where I actually can appreciate it. 

You were one of my greatest blessings, and hardest lessons. Thank you.

You brought people into my life that I know I wouldn’t want to do without, both directly and indirectly.  Thank you.

You showed me by example things that you learned by fire: patience (I’m still working on that one!), non-judgment, the graceful acceptance that can bring peace. Thank you.

You taught me the value of time, both mine and others’.  Thank you.

I say “Thank you” more now.  I tell people “I love you” more now.  And I mean it.  Thank you.

When I’m beating myself up over something, I hear your voice telling me to be easier on myself. Thank you.

You taught me to always (at least try) to bring the best of myself to the table, wherever I am and whatever I am doing.  Thank you.

There is so much more I have to be thankful for, thanks to your brief season in my life, and I may never be able to even fully realize how far that reaches out.  And I may never be able to say Thank You enough.

But still…
Thank you
(and I am smiling when I say that)