Monday, May 27, 2013

Don, Grief and Insanity from THWF

A bit of grieving, going back to the day I last saw him, my birthday...



Once upon a time,
A Cinderella went to a ball
And met a Prince.
And they danced, they laughed, they loved…

And they kept an eye on the clock
Knowing they had only ‘til midnight
They tried to make the best out of every minute, every second
Tried to give each other only the best of themselves

Midnight came
And with great sorrow they parted…
Taking each with them a memory and knowledge
Of laughter and love
And making the most of time.
11.25.12


There are too many words
To describe what I’m feeling
They spin around and around in my head
Yet choke me when I try to speak
My pen can't keep up with them
It would take a lifetime to get them all out
And in no way would 17 syllables suffice

un-ku-ku
11.25.12


I don't question why.
I can see a big picture.
I just miss you here.

Still waiting-ku
11.27.12


The air is misty
Dampening the surface
Of everything it touches
A solitary raindrop falls
Then another...and another still
The clouds let go
Releasing the floodgates
And it rains
Gray skies are crying
The tears I cannot shed
11.12.12


I’m waiting…waiting
waiting…quiet and still
listening…listening
Listening..for the sound of your voice
hoping…hoping
Hoping…for that connection
Feeling…feeling
Feeling…a heart so full
11.11.12


Soft kisses stolen
lush kisses shared in private
impressed on the heart 

kisses are forever-ku
11.11.12


Patience is a word
I'm told I need more patience.
FUCK is a word, too.

I'm screwed – ku
11.10.12


Go through the motions
Smile, speak when necessary
Sleep. Begin again.
11.10.12


A sad day, indeed
When even Milton Hershey
Can't take care of me
11.08.12


breath-taking moments.
but to be able to give
some of them back?

always with me-ku
11.07.12


Happy, satisfied
Stable, determined, content
Imaginative

Complete, connected
Receptive, present, able
Things I dream to be

UN-ku
11.07.12


Internal pressure
Demanding to be released
Gaining momentum

I can feel it build- ku
11.07.12


In matters of time
it's a drop in the bucket
and, now, forever
11.04.12


A love resolute
Is a gift. To the worthy
It becomes priceless
11.04.12


Juvenile? Probably. But I bet I could make a good pop(tart) song out of it:

Hit and Run

I wasn’t looking
When I crossed that street
You came along suddenly
I was blindsided
With no protection against the collision

Stunned, with no sense of direction
You turned my world upside down
When I looked up
You were nowhere to be found

The heart has no insurance 
Against a claim like this
Just try to pick up the pieces
And move on…move on

You came into my life like a hit and run
Hit me hard, and now you're gone
11.01.12


I'm riding the fence
Between what is and what was
A life in limbo
11.01.12


Sunshine on my face
attempting to pervade the
dark thoughts of the mind
10.31.12


bright warmth creeps slowly
across damp skin, slight breezes
dry the tears away

Nature's tissue-ku
10.31.12


Yes, it takes time, but
when will I stop noticing
plans made 'without you'?

constantly reminded-ku
10.30.12


Spread my wings and run
into the heart of the sun.
I get it. Swan song.

through all the days and all the years right here I'll be – ku
10.29.12



you’d bite your lower lip
in an effort to refrain
that would distract me
and I would stare at your mouth
made me want to bite it, too

a nice memory – tanku
10.28.12


you turned a corner
left me, then, standing by myself
unsure, to move on
10.28.12


We hadn’t seen each other for two whole weeks
I got there first.
I remember not being able to watch for you, 
I was so excited to see you
and was afraid I’d make a fool of myself
jumping up and launching myself at you…

I miss those butterflies – ku
10.28.12


go through the motions
and do what I have to do
one day at a time
10.28.12


can't hurt any less
yet there's the silver lining
can't hurt any more
10.28.12


to feel it again
to feel anything again
passion is feeling

numb-ku
10.28.12


Right now I am still
a moment between moments
something and nothing
10.27.12


trains are wonderful
time to enjoy the journey
something not to miss

read between the lines-ku
10.27.12

I write ev'ry day
I know what you want for me
I'm okay with that

baby steps-ku
10.27.12


who would have found me
I wonder, if I managed
to knock myself out 
when I hit my head on the
towel rack in the shower?

and if this is some kind of subliminal joke about the train....! – tanku
10.26.12


you can't force feelings
as I'm learning now, but it
would be nice to be
able to feel more than the
nothing I am feeling now

(And anyone who posts Morris Albert's song now will be slapped!- ku) :)
10.26.12


Make me come alive
Let creative juices flow
Turn me on again!

I gots to be me-ku
10.25.12


Need to feel alive
to get excited again,
to be able to

proof of life-ku
10.25.12


Play. Listen. Repeat.
My music as therapy.
The Show Must Go On.
10.22.12


the memories rain
droplets of smiles, yet still not
enough to douse pain's fire
10.21.12


try to change focus
yet some times there are never
enough distractions
10.21.12


Tupelo, a chance
to leave it all behind,
but I took it with me

No matter where you are, there you are-ku
10.20.12


It's there
just under the surface
all the passion, the love
the rage, the pain
waiting to erupt
10.17.12


how is it that such
a hollow, empty feeling
can take up such space?
10.17.12


I see his picture
That wasn't too long ago
It's hard to believe
it all went downhill that fast
I can't believe he is gone.
10.15.12


sadness is heavy
weighs down on your heart, your lungs
makes it hard to breathe
10.15.12


I see you by the water
in that special place
I'll meet you there
and we can talk
10.14.12


"Good Morning!" Simple
words that become less simple
when no longer heard
10.13.12


The life of a flame
it starts with a spark
burns brightly for a brief moment
then slowly, quietly dims
until it goes out.
yet before that happens,
that flame has the opportunity
to ignite other flames
even full conflagrations.
each new flame
ignites other flames
keeping that original flame
eternally burning
10.10.12


A part of me is missing
I don’t know where it is
because that part is with you—
and I don’t know where you are

message to the cosmos – ku
10.09.12


anticipation
comes in two forms, breath -less
and -withheld. I wait...
10.07.12


I received a beautiful notebook
as soon as I saw it I knew what it was for
what I was supposed to write about
and yet it still sits, unopened, where I left it
I'm not prepared to write in past tense yet.
10.05.12


Can't sleep
feel so useless...helpless
and so very far away
are you ok?
are you alone? 
are you scared? 
I am
it hasn't all been said
and I needed to hear it
this not knowing...
it's tearing me to pieces
10.03.12


I know what i want
worried it will never be
nothing I can do
10.02.12


The rain understands
It cries the tears of others
While they all pretend

10.02.12