Tuesday, September 22, 2015

A Surprising Moment of Maturity - From ME

Two years ago this month, I woke up to see a “For Rent” sign in the front of my building – for my apartment. I’d been out of a job for 8 months – you know the story: single mom barely making ends meet. It’s unfortunately quite common.

Needless to say, I was a little stressed.

I made it through that without having to move, with the loving, encouraging – and financial – support of my family and friends. (I do know how fortunate I am.)

I was still reeling from the loss of someone very special to me within that year, and within the next four months suffered two more devastating losses, the second of which – in a bizarre, morbid, unusual turn of events – led me to a new job. Knowing Mark’s sense of humor, his bequeathal to me of that job was, I’m sure, quite tongue-in-cheek.  He knew that I would be asked often how I got into that line of work. Thank you, Mark. J

For the first time in my life, I was doing what I wanted: I was being paid to write. I can still feel the rush of energy I felt when I got the call from the dear friend, offering me the job. It had a significant impact on everything: my financial situation, my quality of life, my enthusiasm, my confidence, and my mental outlook, despite the sad circumstance that led me to it.

My life changed. I was in a position to begin supporting myself – by myself. I began to be able to do a little more, including making a good dent in paying backwards. My schedule became more flexible. I started taking myself more seriously, taking more time to commit to and write my own projects. And I began to get really excited about my future. There were so many new opportunities this job opened up for me. I talked often about how grateful and happy I was to have it.

There have been other significant events that have happened this past year and 8 months since I began this job. Apparently, I am still enjoying quite a roller-coaster ride.

Last night, that dear friend who offered me the job called to tell me that the position was being terminated in two weeks.

(Judy, I’m so sorry you had to be in that position.)

In two weeks, I’m out of a job. The job that made the biggest difference to me and my life in so many ways.

I have to say, I was surprised at myself by how well I took the news. I waited to write about it to see if I was just in shock and would wake up depressed. I didn’t; and I realized why:

I still feel the gratitude I felt when I got the job. With the new experience (and training) I got from it, I have more confidence in my abilities. I’m in a better position to get this same type of job than I was two years ago. I was able to do so much more this past year, for myself and for my kids. Nothing can take any of that away. I can still drive a school bus, so I’m not totally busted.

It's not the end of the world. I still have so much to be thankful for. My future is once again uncertain, but right now I feel like the new high school graduate; everything is open to me.

Judy, I still can’t thank you enough. The job … your guidance … the things you’ve said to me.

You, too, Mark. You chucklehead. <3

Do you know what else I have?


Proof that I have grown. 


I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING: My last day of work is my birthday. Since I don't believe in coincidences, I shall take this as a sign, and accept it as A GIFT.